Stuck in a Box or Safe in the Womb? How to Tell the Difference
You're working hard. Showing up. Doing the things.
But nothing's happening yet.
No clients rolling in. No viral moments. No tangible results to show for all the effort you're putting in.
And there's this question sitting in the back of your mind: Am I on the right path, or am I just stuck?
What You Need to Know
Here's what most people don't tell you: There's a massive difference between being stuck and being in a pause before growth.
And the difference isn't about what's happening on the outside. It's about what's happening on the inside.
When I first got my coaching certification, I watched another coach go viral. Her business exploded seemingly overnight. She was making money, getting attention, and being held up as this shining example of what's possible.
And I felt… stuck.
Not because I wasn't doing the work. I was showing up on social media even though it made my skin crawl. I was forcing myself to create content that felt completely wrong for my energy. I was following the "proven" path I'd been taught.
But everything felt hard. Heavy. Like I was trapped in a box with no way out.
I was bitter (hello, Projector not-self theme). I was exhausted. I was doubting myself constantly and making up judgments that other people had about me—people who didn't even know I existed.
That's what stuck feels like.
The Difference Between Stuck and Paused
Fast forward a few years. I changed my marketing strategy. I shifted my approach to building my business.
And from the outside? It looked pretty similar. No new clients yet. No money coming in. Just me working behind the scenes on something new.
But it felt completely different.
Instead of trapped, I felt like I was in this pregnant pause. Full of possibility. Secure. Cozy, even.
I was nervous about certain aspects—reaching out to businesses for workshops, showing up to in-person events. But it was an exciting nervous. The kind that comes from growth, not force.
It felt like get-to-do instead of have-to-do.
"If you're feeling stuck as trapped in a box, versus sitting still as secure in a womb. Know that those are two different feelings, and those are two different places in your journey."
Same stillness. Completely different energy.
The Real Cost of Forcing the Wrong Path
When you're truly stuck—trapped in that box—it shows up as:
Constant discomfort and frustration - Everything feels harder than it should. You're always tired. The work drains you instead of energizing you.
Self-doubt and judgment - You're questioning yourself constantly. Comparing yourself to others. Convinced you're doing something wrong.
Working against your design - You're following someone else's blueprint for success, even though it doesn't fit who you are or how you're meant to operate.
Bitterness or resentment - Your not-self theme is running the show. You feel stuck, angry, or disappointed that things aren't working out.
And here's what keeps you there: You think you just need to push harder. Do more. Show up more consistently. Follow the plan more perfectly.
But the problem isn't your effort. It's that you're on the wrong path or approaching the right path in the wrong way.
What the Pregnant Pause Feels Like
When you're in alignment but waiting for movement to happen, it feels different:
Excitement mixed with nervousness - You're not certain of the outcome, but you're looking forward to it. The unknown feels full of possibility instead of terrifying.
Energy and clarity - Even when nothing's happening externally, you feel good about where you're headed. You trust the process.
Organic growth - You're following invitations that feel right. You're making decisions from your authority instead of from fear or "shoulds."
Comfort in the stillness - You don't mind being here because you know it's building toward something. You can feel it coming.
"The quiet before the storm. But in the best possible way. Like the seedling just about to burst out from the ground."
This is where you want to be. This is how you know you're on the right path, even when external results haven't shown up yet.
Why Both Places Matter
Here's the truth: Both experiences teach you something essential.
The trapped-in-a-box place shows you what you don't want. It helps you refocus and redirect your attention toward what you actually do want.
It's uncomfortable, yes. But it's information. It's your design telling you: This isn't it. Try something different.
The womb place—the pregnant pause—shows you what you do want. It confirms you're on the right path. It tells you to keep going, to trust the timing, to let things unfold.
The more you call in what feels good, the fuller you become. And eventually, that fullness spills over into the tangible results you're creating.
The Integration: Learning to Trust Your Energy
So how do you tell the difference when you're in the middle of it?
Ask yourself: What's the energy behind this feeling?
Is it "Things aren't happening for me ever. Nothing works. I'm doing all this work and it's so hard"?
Or is it "Things aren't happening yet. I can see them around the corner. I'm excited about what's coming and all of this is preparing me"?
The first one is stuck. The second one is aligned pause.
Your energy doesn't lie. Your body knows the difference even when your mind tries to convince you otherwise.
When you're forcing something that isn't yours—whether it's a marketing strategy, a business model, or a path someone else says you should take—your body will tell you through exhaustion, resistance, and heaviness.
When you're in alignment, even the hard parts feel different. They feel like growth instead of punishment.
Try This: The Energy Check-In Practice
This week, I want you to practice something simple but effective:
Notice where you are.
If you're in a period where things aren't happening yet, pay attention to how it actually feels in your body.
Sit with it for a moment. Don't rush to fix it or change it. Just notice.
Does it feel heavy? Restrictive? Like you're pushing a boulder uphill?
Or does it feel full? Anticipatory? Like something's building beneath the surface?
Then ask yourself:
If this feels like the trapped-in-a-box place: What am I forcing that isn't mine to do? What path am I following because I think I "should" rather than because it feels right?
If this feels like the pregnant pause place: Can I trust this? Can I let myself rest here and know that movement will come when it's time?
What to Expect When You Start Trusting Your Design
When you begin following your energy instead of someone else's blueprint, here's what might happen:
You'll question yourself at first. You'll wonder if you're making excuses or being lazy.
Others might not understand. They might push you to hustle harder or wonder why you're not doing what "everyone else" does.
You might feel like you're moving slower than you want to be.
But here's what's also true:
The path that feels good is the one that's actually yours. The opportunities that come will be the right ones. The growth will be sustainable instead of exhausting.
And you'll build something that lasts because it's built on alignment instead of force.
The Truth About Growth
Your work—whether it's finding your purpose, building your business, or leading your team—should feel exciting, interesting, and invigorating.
Not easy all the time. Not without challenge. But never painful in that soul-draining, trapped-in-a-box way.
If it feels like a constant struggle, if everything about it feels wrong, that's information. It might not be the thing for you to be doing—ever, or at least not right now.
And you have permission to pivot. To pause. To do things differently.
That's not failure. That's wisdom.
Practice Trusting You
This is my invitation to you:
Practice being you. Practice trusting your energy over other people's logic.
Practice noticing the difference between stuck and paused, between force and flow, between someone else's path and yours.
It takes practice because we've been conditioned to ignore our inner knowing. To push through discomfort no matter what. To believe that hard means right.
But each time you choose to trust your design, you're building your capacity to create from alignment. You're learning that you don't have to force your way to success.
The seedling is about to burst through the ground. Trust the timing. Trust your energy. Trust you.
What's Next?
If this resonates and you're ready to understand exactly how your unique Human Design supports your path forward, here's how I can help:
Take the free quiz: Discover what's blocking your prosperity and get your next aligned step to move forward faster
Book a Discovery Call: Let's talk about how your Human Design can help you build a business that works with your energy instead of against it.
About the Author:
Matalya Onuoha is a Human Design Strategist and Clarity-to-Prosperity Guide for Women & Teams. She helps women transform confusion into clarity and purpose into prosperity using Human Design, NLP, and somatic techniques. Host of the Worthy of Wealth podcast.
